Metro Moment
by Tangerine Goddess
Summary: Jesse discovers the horrors of male pregnancy fictions with Chazz's 'borrowed' laptop, and explains why it cannot be so. Mpreg bashing! Not for Syrus/Zane fans! Companion to False Pretenses.


**Metro Moment**

**Well, since my other Mpreg bashing fanfiction was so popular, I decided to write another one.**

**Flame Disclaimer: This is a parody, therefore it is perfectly alright for me to warn you that this fiction contains character bashing, pairing bashing, complete stupidity and out of characterness. You have been warned. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.**

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Another peaceful day at Duel Academy. No freaky villans that were either obsessed with the light, or the darkness, or dueling energy, coming to attempt to beat Jaden at a children's card game, and loosing miserably as he is the main character and therefore, cannot lose, no Chazz attempting to woo Alexis, no Atticus attempting to 'hook people up', nothing. Not even Pharoh was moving about.. but that's not really all that surprising, he is an overweight ball of fleas.

All was quiet. Jaden and Syrus were looking at duel packs they bought, as Jesse was nowhere to be found. However, the peace was soon to be short lived, as somewhere else the sounds of more screaming seemed to set the entire place ablaze with life. Upon hearing the screams of his aqua haired twin Jaden practically shoved his other friends out of the way, to the source of the screaming.

That was quick. And he wonders why people think he is gay. At any rate, after a few minutes of running, he spied his best friend, huddled in the corner, there's a corner in the woods?; no one was quite sure why Jesse was in the woods, nor did they really wish to know, Chazz's laptop sitting just a few feet away from the huddled bluenette.

" ... " Syrus couldn't find words to describe how strange this looked, nor could he seem to form a sentence to question Chazz's obsession with computers nor did he seem to want to question why Jesse even had the damn laptop in the first place. Some things are better left unsaid. Everyone else just seemed to blink.

"Jesse! Are you hurt? Is something broken?" Jaden's worried tone snapped the bluenette out of his rocking back and forth state.

"No... worse... Male Pregnancy Fanfiction..." Oh yes, _that_. Jaden didn't even have to look at the screen to know why Jesse was so freaked out.

"They got you too?" Syrus asked, completely innocent. Jesse swallowed the lump in his throat, and glared at the screen. It would seem that his rocking back and forth and feeling sorry for himself mood had drained away his usual cheerful self, now it would seem that he was annoyed.

"My God. Does no one on this site realize that a male becoming pregnant is impossible? It's almost as if, just because they are writing fanfiction, that the differences between male and female reproductive organs should be ignored, and destroyed?" Jesse stated, an annoyed look crossing his features. The others agreed with him on that.

"You think that's bad?" Syrus seemed to want to know, "it can't be as bad as people thinking that me and my brother should date, or writing fanfiction in which he attempts to rape/molest/touch me inappropriately." Syrus thought he had it worse then they did, and he was slightly right.

"Yeah, but at least that could be explained, male pregnancy however, cannot, it cannot happen, even if a person was born with BOTH reproductive organs, because if that were the case then the person wouldn't even be able to become pregnant, in the first place, so why the hell do people think this is a good idea?" Could it be that Jesse sounded.. smart? There was a hearty murmur of agreement. Jesse brought up a valid point.

"Yeah, but still, my brother, that's sick!" Syrus sighed as once again, he was ignored. Poor Syrus, he gets no respect. The other two males had their backs to him and their attention focused on the screen in front of them.

Before they could launch their complaints in the form of scathingly violent reviews, however, the voice of Chazz could be heard, and boy did he not sound happy.

"Where is my laptop?!" Jesse looked panicked-stricken, then tossed the laptop to Jaden, who had to scramble to catch it. Jaden threw it to Syrus, who caught it just before Chazz stepped onto the scene. Oh dear. Jaden gave a two-fingered salute, as he sprinted away with Jesse, his words following after him in the wind.

"Sorry Sy! Main characters can't die!"

"Aw man!"

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**Poor Syrus. Don't worry, I'll write a oneshot where he gets revenge. By the way, I hope I don't offend anyone who actually does like the Syrus/Zane pairing. I don't. It's strange, and really, really out of character, even for me.**

**They are brothers for God's sake.**

**Anyhow, thanks for reading!**

Tangy over and out!


End file.
